So Sticky!!!

This feeling for him is soooooo sticky... I want this feeling out of my system... or just forget about it until it's the right time for it. Lord... Lord... I don't want to yearn for him any longer. If I have to wait, please let me wait comfortably. Please, Lord... Please... T.T

It's time for bed again... I don't wanna think about him before I fall off to sleep... Nooooo... Please... T.T

Righteousness is the Key to Unlocking God's Blessings

This is an important lesson I've learned from Proverbs 10.

verse 3
The Lord does not let the righteous go hungry,
     but he thwarts the craving of the wicked.


verse 6
Blessings crown the head of the righteous,
     but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked.

verse 24
What the wicked dread will overtake them;
     what the righteous desire will be granted.

When I read these verses, I understood what happened in the past. I realized I was living an unrighteous life that was why I didn't get the things I desired. Although some of the things were not really meant for me, some were clearly would have been given to me had I been obedient to God.

Now, the Lord has opened up another opportunity for me to earn more money. I'm going to take the important lesson I've learned tonight. I'm going to desire righteousness rather than wealth and success. I'm going to obey God and his commands, so that there will be no barriers between God's blessings and I. I'm going to pursue the Source of the blessings rather than the blessings...

Having learned this tonight, I made a promise to God that I'm going to give back to Him 10% of the income of my online shop. To God be all the glory. Amen!

Let Me Forget

Lord, I've been struggling with my feelings for him (You already know who I'm talking about). I don't want to struggle any longer. So, here's my special request. Take away my feelings for him. Get rid of it, Lord. Purge it from me, so I may be free. However, if he is the man you prepared for me, just let me forget him until the time for us has come. I offer my feelings for this man to You, my Lord and King. Set me free... ^o^

Do Good To All

I was reading Galatians 6 during my devotional time today. Verses 9 and 10 struck a chord in me. It says: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

It sounds easy, right? But, not... Doing good may seem easy to do, but to do good AT ALL TIMES and to ALL which implies even to those people who are unkind to us and those we do not like so much, that's tough. However, my faith in God and my desire to please God is fueling this desire in me to obey. So, Lord God, I'm going to try real hard to obey this command of Yours. I know You're going to help me. I want to do this, Lord, because I love You and want to please You. I want to make up for the time that I took You for granted and took You very lightly.

Lord, I know You said do good to all at all times. Are you also telling me to keep on sending this friend of mine text/instant messages even when he's not answering back? Should I, Lord? You said do not become weary... but, to be very honest, I am getting tired of doing it, Lord. I'm just a little confused here. If I could only be sure that what I'm doing is doing him good, by all means, I'd continue to do so. But what if it's bothering him; I'm bothering him with my messages? Just don't know what to do. Help, Lord!!!

A Simple Sorry Isn't Enough

I learned a very good lesson today. I realized that I've been taking God lightly. Actually, it's like I've forgotten that He is God after all. I've known all along that He is a Judge aside from the fact that He is love. I knew that. But, I guess, I never really understood that. I knew He is my Father and that He loves me unconditionally. However, I forgot that as a Father, He does get angry too and may withhold mercy and forgiveness when He sees I'm not really sincere in asking for forgiveness.

Lately, I've been struggling and I feel lost. All this time, God has been telling me of His greatness and that He is to be feared. But, I was too blind to see and understand what He was trying to tell me up until now. When I read Psalm 77, I suddenly realized what's truly happening to me. God has kept His face from me because I'm not truly repentant of my sins. He wanted to tell me that I can't take Him lightly. He is the King of kings and Lord of lords. He is the great I Am.

I thought whenever I prayed and say sorry, that's already it. I thought it is His obligation to forgive me whenever I mutter the words 'sorry' or 'forgive me'. God checks the heart. And in my heart, He saw I wasn't really sincere. I was just saying 'sorry' because I had to, not because I really was. No wonder nothing seems to be going right in my life right now.

I am so thankful that finally God has reached me and I heard Him. I'm truly sorry, Lord. And, I really mean it. I'm sorry for cheating. I'm sorry for my arrogance. I'm sorry for taking you lightly and for treating you like a servant rather than a God. Oh my~ Now I realize the gravity of my sin. Forgive me, Lord. I was so foolish. Please do not withhold your mercy and compassion towards me any longer. Lord, I beg You. Please forgive me. I'm sincerely sorry and I now understand my mistake. I love You, Lord. I'm sorry if I hadn't loved You as much as you deserved to be loved. Thank You, Lord for making me realize my mistakes. I'm sorry!

I Hate Balikbayan Boxes

I hate it when my sisters would send balikbayan boxes. I hate it because it exposes how greedy some of the people in my family can be. And, it irritates me. They irritate me. These people would claim that they're so busy... yet when a balikbayan box would arrive at home, they suddenly have all the time in the world to wait for my mom to get home and open the box... Once the box is open, they'd scramble at everything they could get their hands on... They act like they're deprived of these material things yet they have a car (we don't) and have all these expensive gadgets... How greedy can they be? They always want to have all the good stuff. Can't they give my family and I the priority over the things my sisters sent and get things sorted out first? Besides, my sisters never fail to give them something. They always get a gift from them... I just hate it... It never fails to ruin my mood... I hate it!!!

Letting Go

     It's a little past five in the morning of the 6th of October 2012. I can't sleep... again... These past few weeks have been really tough on me emotionally. I feel lost... confused... I'm in this place and time again where I don't know where my life is going. I feel lost... again...

     It's painful to part with a dream, what more when you have to let go of two... Some dreams aren't meant to come true. Sometimes it's not because you didn't try hard enough to make them real, but that they're just not meant to be...

     I had to let go of two of my dreams tonight... It broke my heart and made my eyes leak. But, that's just how life is. You don't get everything. I've been blessed to have lived other people's dreams. I would be greedy if I wanted to have everything my heart desires. Although, that would have really made me very happy... So I think...

     Life goes on for me... And, the sooner I accept my present reality the better I will be.